As of today I am nowhere close to being
the perfect person for you
to all the heartbreaks you endure with our time apart
I truly apologize.
I ask God to instill in me what I need to be
Compassionate, Sincere, and Faithful.
My fear of commitment comes from a lifetime of pain..
Summed up to being afraid to love and being loved
When the day comes I will be intuned with you 
like the melody of Mozart,
Admire you
like Mona Lisa Smile,
Engrave you in my heart 
like the Sistine Chapel,
I will love you until my last breath..
Until that time I have to go through somethings to love you the way 
you deserve.

Thanks for joining me!

Going to sleep wanting more

Running away to keep calm

Can’t ever make a choice

The point of view changes the mood

Morning after can’t wait

   I’m Judus to the faithful life

vertrouwen

Leave the false claims where they lie,

Believing the grass is greener on the other side

Don’t let em' claim they love me!

I wouldn’t even let em' hug me!

My pride hungry inside,

False claims don’t let em rise

My soul is ready to cry;

False claims left me restless inside

My heart trembles to the words I love you.

False claims are the result of broken faith 

They keep claiming they love me 

After the trigger ended all it for me.

Stressin’ and...
Second guessin’
Luckily I got two shordies 
That reigns in like blessin’
I’m that n***a now
Lookin’ at the world in the eyes
Paralyzed to deception 
Beatin’ down the walls 
I trip and fall
I’m on the other side 
Drownin' in emotions 
Depression is the shark tank 
I can’t swim any further 
Darkness lurkin’ in every corner
Happiness depletes me
I’m insane to humanity 
Livin' this life has left me with no possibilities....

 

Can I come over and chill?

I fell in love too quick

Got too close with this shit

Alone in my thoughts 

I wanna keep it real

No Netflix and Chill 


Our love hasn’t been the same

A low lit flame 

Tell me how you really feel.

Now it just lonely ..

I let you know when I come thru 

Breakfast and Smash is a thing of the past


I pull up, the love not good for me

Your presence was my serenity

Your laugh was my security

High on emotions 

I need to come over just to crash 

Just love me,

Hold me,

Trust me,

I promise I’m the right company.

I am my child’s burden

every time he hears suicide

he sees my rotten brown

parasitic eyes

I am my child’s burden

every time she smell hooch

she remember all her “uncles”

I hope they treated her well

I am my child’s burden

every time he hears loud noises

he sees the blood spilling

from my tears

I am my child’s burden

every time she sees a cop

She remembers the numbers 5 to 10

I am my child’s burden.

Darkness overwhelms

I promise I am not anemic,

The failure prevails..

Yet with every breath I get colder

Satisfaction is just a gratitude,

Every attempt I get frigid, 

Light is the progress

The flames become chilled,

Success is the mindset... and

Limitations are left at the bed rest
It's a story untold.

You eat lies 
your heart is hungry
Until you realize the boy in the mirror
Is now a man
trapped between being a real nigga
believing your body count makes you
THAT GUY!
Truth is you're still just a little boy that never had a guide.